mia, one brown eye, one blue

joy with her blue door

jinky george 2007

apocalyptic dream

giant screen and a very large bar.  a mural is projected with the second coming by william blake.  i don't know if this exists or not.  it is indebted to michaelangelo.  there are angels and lions.  it is a white background with blue figures.  it adjoins a dormitory where i have just taken some nitrous oxide.  then there is a large restaurant with a man speaking into a microphone, sort of like a poetry reading.  someone says, if we could just get this into print it  would change the world.  then there is dancing and i get off my bench and go onto the floor dancing with a paddle  ball.  could this be my invitation to "america's got talent"?   i am seventy-two years old.  i think i can still dance.  i will have to go out and look  for a paddle (power/powder) ball.

in straunge londes

i have determined just who is  going to give me a  ride to the doctor today.
there are parties literally jockeying for position to get a chance to
give me a ride.  it is very strange.  i have never had it like this before.

in cindy aery
little flights or swarms
of faeries attend my presence
in the hour of rest

we all know the reason why
10,000 seasons then the
spell is spun

10,000 reasons and the
bell is rung

"bless the Lord o my soul
o o o my soul"
praise to His holy name

moan signorita itta itys now

the necessity of books,
tell me it ain't
nesca sarah lea
so nessi dormu
nessie the loch-
ness sea monster
a monstrosetee
re: monstrance
the monster sea

going to primary care after lunch.  will get my ear unplugged.  routine visit. after that, nothing until late october...then three in a row.

daddy;s warbucks

daddy's warbucks were long and green
like his busy lean fingers on the adding machine.
he never looked down as he tallied the sums,
when daddy was in town and the war had just been won.

daddy's warbucks were still long and green
when you visited downtown, and the scene was seen.
he had those dollar marks imprinted all over him,
according to his assistant who was really rather frank back then.

but daddy did good, all the best that he could;
and we all loved to see him when at last he really would
come home with ink stained fingers and we knew he was our friend
for daddy had the message when the news wore thin.

good day at church

it was a good day.  i enjoyed the liturgy and the sermon.  got a ride from one of my neighbors.  that was very kind.  she did not want to stay for service, but she came back and got me afterwards.  food has been good today.  a little upset by some of the news, but i don't think it is that important...right now.  looking forward to tomorrow.  will go to my primary care; hopefully getting my deaf ear unstopped.  it's been a real nuisance.  found gerald o'grady on youtube last night, mostly marshall mcluhan related.  was another occasion to look up northrup frye.  worked on an apaollinaire translation yesterday, indebted to others, try to make it more my own.  took a day off on some medications, but not the psychiatric  feel pretty good. g..  

morning song

it is good to feel good in the morning,
to sing praises to God every day.
when the day is afoot and your first word is "gut",
it's a joy to have something to say.

it is good to be happy not sad.
unbelievers must find their own way.
but get up and alert and do not feel really hurt
and something may come into play.

it is good to be faithful and thankful;
God loves us and keeps us always.
if we learn to shine out and to live without doubt
some good will turn up that may pay.

we pave our way with intentions.
let us follow with acts that are pure
and when we reach our final destination
we shall have the true gold that endures..

an enormous party

almost as big as the whole staate fair.  was supposed to be just firday night.   looks like it will go on all weekend.  i finally breaK DOWN IN THE BAR, HAVE A FEW BEERS AND THEN A SCOTCH AND WATER. see a friend of mike's...a bartender.  finally head home, back to my rooms, out in the night.  football parking.  i manage to bring someone with me.  we arrive at chez moi, people everywhere, even in my bed...or is it mine.  perhaps this is robert and jess's rooms.  but they feel like mine,but robert's latest notebook is lying around near the bed.  i tell my dear friend, you know, this little book is  worth thousands of dollars...properly marketed.  there is a smoldering fire in the fireplace.   i sort of put it out,but then it starts up all over again on its own.  there is a mechanism.  that's how it works. it is like "beatlejuice": the movie. there is an almost naked woman? in the bed in upside down panty hose.  they carry her out.  finally we are alone.  i try to straighten up the bed.  there is more than one and in several rooms.  nothing untoward is going on.  i am about to wake up.  earlier i was with pat in the old house on park ridge.  lots of straunge animules.  anna mules.  flying around.  being evicted.  one room leads to another, like the party rooms.  walls dissolve into walls.  pat and i disagree but we manage.  there are intruders...in the dust. and so  it goes eternally  some of my relatives are there, and some old friends.  just turned on the computer.  messages from pam m. and david m.  pam and david, that was an item at one time...not anymore, eny

various

this is the everlasting street
paved with human suffering.
there may be no immediate relief,
except for patience, kindness and love

from notes

re/ducible in the crucible

the re/markable bible

left over and left behind
upright and righteous

madame b)ovary
left overture

alexander graham cracker

the grave pretender

don't pretend to know
the ion sopha

not long for this world

mahatma khandhi

medusa
dragging her tail like the train of a wedding dress

blacklashed

yes seurat

sunrise
surprise

devil
david

it's been interesting tonight.  i edited back about as far as the software seemed to allow.  can't expect to catch everything.  modifying my views. correcting them.

good morning

feeling pretty good this morning.  woke up at 3:30. did most of my chores.  napped until 6.  bible class today.  will try to get a haircut and shop.  take the bus home.  have a nice day.  recovered from yesterday. those dreams threw me for a loop. (loup)

macbeth hath murdered sleep

duncan and dunce inane

i gave out her address, inadvertantly.  like richard's here. one main place

no point in going back to sleep
the world was collapsing all about him
the still point in the churning world
lotus in a sea of...fire, etcetera
thik nhut hanh

just a hint of henna

hennabush

the end of the world as we knew it

a new one about to emerge

jesus christ in charge from now on

apocalypse america

apocalypse

her paintings began appearing everywhere and then collapsing as the buildings turned into gigantic sink holes.  student centers everywhere, ucla, rice, etc. gigantic blasee abstract creaiions, so bad i assaulted one with a largle black paint brush.  you would not even notice it.  i had forgotten she could paint, besides being a scientist.  dr. gerald was rude to me as he prepared to retire.  i was driving a small sports car in the english countryside.  a criminal conspiracy.  the world falling apart.  bad abstracts.  student centers.  mother. my fellow co-conspirators.   like the joker from batman.  dare them to come back.  relocating. disaster. disaster. disaster.

oh joy divine

oh joy divine to know the Lord
to know Him with a certainty
that goes beyond imagination...
to celebrate on a weekly basis
his enduring Passion and Resurrection
which animates all of fallen creation
and gives us hope above all measure,
yet measured out in earthly portions
so that we can be his brothers and
sisters, and children of the one true Father.
oh, hallelujah for His blessed gifts
which we receive in the sacraments
that lead us to eternal faith and
life with Him in heaven forever.

mama mia

oh mama what it means to me
to see mia our dog so well and happy
in her new home after her operation.
she seems to be as good as new,
as young as when we first got her
six or seven years ago.  she lives
with a pack of other small dogs,
and she is the ring leader. maybe
she is twelve by now.  maybe
she was once a puppy mill mother,
trying to reproduce those eyes,
one brown, and one bright blue.
a credit to her dachshund breed,
black and brown and sleek and smooth
she even sleeps with cats today.
hard to believe she came from an auction.
what a grand odyssey.  now she lives in
handley, texas, now a part of greater
fort worth.  i see her once in a while
and contribute to her bills.  her
operation cost a thousand, but
it is worth every penny to
see her so well and happy again.

no gender

no agenda

from notes

weary and wise, attorneys

flea markets
free markets

phoney conversations

walter mitty's cousin
hugh miditty
hunid, arizona

ozona

o zone

cuss toe mere
costa del rey

now when

re:penta costa
costa rica

good doctorin'

popoff molotov

re:quested
reek wested
sleek vested
mrs. quested

a life in california

some are the same
summer knot

rainbow kamp

xtirpation

jeoffrey ballet

not an after dinner mint

procuts
call harem

lavonia bella
bella italia

daddy hoosier

seek ura tease

danse tudeo

whistlin; backwards
whistlin' dixie

"zew storie"

like ripe strawberries
straw burial

desiderata

swish gay bob

import ant

the culture wars

dream plus notes

she was short, cute and diminutive.  we were casual friends.  i told her goodbye in the cafeteria.  we would probably see each other that night.  the chef was talking to someone i knew.  just small talk.  i interrupted.  he told me about the evening meal.  it sounded very appetizing and sort of elaborate.  one dish had a local sauce.  he was keeping it local.  i mentioned the girl.  she had just left.  he knew who she was.  her father was a supervisor out at the nuclear facility.  i joked: they are low on uranium.  i am going to pick up some, but i will be back later to eat.  we were near the high school sports stadium.  (te deum)  i started my car. it coughed but then started ok.   i was glad.  i had not been driving again long.  i knew what it was like to have a stalled car.  a short line of cars approached.  they headed around the curve.   no problem for me at all.  i had told the chef somewhat personally, you know, she called me.  that's how it started. it is good to have some women around.  then i saw a fight starting...a drunk cowboy and a longhaired hippie?.  it was nasty.   i got out of there at once.

transcribed with some difficulty from mss.  could easily contain errors.

my dreams.  (streaming dreaming)  it's sort of like what anna hartmann said about my acid trips, they're so carefully structured.  yes, i replied, but i am not the one doing the structuring. i leave that up to God.

Horseneck (acushnet

golf ball size hail
scattered over the
driving range

fibber mcghee
fiber my algae
doctor my eyes
good doctrine

la grave field

i'm on a roll a
savannah roll
savanorolla said

francoise mitterand
enjoying a rothschild

under half dome

these feet that have stood
high above nevada falls
in upper yosemite are now
almost numb with diabetes and
yet somehow they still itch.
i hiked that summer in
just my boots, my boots and hat,
never saw another person
on the elevated trails.
i was just a teen and
i had seen a small grizzly
on the path, coming up past
vernal falls.  the bear passed
by me at i quickly shinnied
up a tree.

saturday night

i had just eaten a bag of popcorn and drank a cup of leftover cold coffee.  earlier i polished off some spaghetti and meatballs from two days ago.  i turned on the tv.  after the end of the six o'clock news a movie came on called "unfinished song".  it was about an old couple.  he was taking care of her.  i don't hear well and the closed caps were hard to read,  but i could follow somewhat.  the faces of the old people were worn but beautiful.  it reminded me of mother and myself.  mother has been gone six months  now.  i looked after her for about six years, the last four in a nursing home.  she barely knew me at the end. but they were probably the happiest days of my life, especially the first two years, before she went in the nursing home. we had a nice apartment and a nice car and a wonderful  dog.  we went to church on sundays.  it was a good life.  life is not that good without her.  it's lonely here in the retirement center.  i have my own room and go down for meals.  i rarely go out...just for church, when i can, and doctor appointments.  i read some, write quite a bit and listen to music.  classical, mostly.  i read my bible. i don't know how long this can last.  my health seems to be starting to fail.  would not be surprised to end up in a nursing home myself before long.  i am grateful just to get through the days and the weeks, the months and the years.  i did see our little dog recently.  she had had an operation.  she looked so healthy and happy. it cheered me up quite a bit.  

dream at 1:30am

glenn, my younger brother, is here with his new in-laws. i am still in bed when they appear outside my door getting a buffet breakfast. i get up.  mother is throwing things out, old things from her childhood.  there is a box of heavy bottles.  then she has her old sewing kit, covered in green satin.  i ask her if she covered it herself.  no, she replies, perhaps grandmother did, or her grandmother.  she is telling people about her life.  pat took the sewing kit.  he may still have it. pat is my older brother.

ink and more

tonight, in the home

i was telling david r. about my aunt polly.  her middle name was esther.  we just called her "polyesther".

here is a simple collage.  i made it to commemorate a date i had with maria calendar.  it is sort of like when pablo picasso memorialized a lunch dish by pressing the remaining leftover fish skeleton in to wet clay and leaving an imprint.  if i can be so bold.  this is the centennial year of the publication of t. s. eliot's "prufrock and other poems".  just checking my proofs if more is needed.

tonight i was able to download a converter for pdf documents to jpg.  it is a Godsend.  i was faced with buying one.  i cannot load pdf documents on my blog or facebook.  hooray! and it's free.

statement

soon these people will not have the op-
era tuna tea of consulting
anyone like me

of course there is not
anyone, exactly like
the person that i am

but what i mean is
i may be vain and arrogant
but surely i am still unique

my health is failing or
at least that's how it
seems to be

i am in my 70's
it's not unusual
at this age

interpreting reality
it's what i've tried to
do this time
as best as
i can

random notes

those people in that last dream blog were yugoslavians.

i'm out of my habit, the hobbit monk declared.

poetry, texas...a small town east of dallas

blt  ballistic missles

mandatory meeting
maundy thursday

pre-emptory strike
perestoika
paris troy ka

jimmy crack corn
gimcrack care

when i first heard of the crowley courthouse
i thought it was in crowley, texas,
south of here, but it is in dallas

allen george building is in
downtown dallas also
no, that's george allen

image of my mister mother, package of pins
a waif in juarez

london undone

wayfarer on the way of life

these people are nuts

almost a nightmare

it's the house on trailwood lane, the house mother and dad built.  i have been to the clinic. i have an appointment.  i go to use the restroom.  a young man comes in and blocks the door.  he wants to ask me something.  he needs some help.  i end up taking him home to an upstairs bedroom.  he has an infant with him. we put the baby in a chest of drawer.  then we go and get his family and bring them back.  mother and dad are out of  town.  we retrieve the baby.  there are other children.  we leave in my car.  i can hardly see over the steering wheel.  i make a left hand turn.  then we are on arch adams near 6th ave.  we pass the old aa headquarters.  they point out a  rooming community, mr.mcgracken's, where they are headed.  that's about the end of it.

dream (incomplete)

have been at trinity church for some kind of a function and accidentally left my briefcase behind.  i had had to climb up on a large structure in the parish hall and had to leave my briefcase behind.  when i go back to the church a staff member is somewhat rude to me, but then a clergyman helps me and i recover my briefcase.  i think i owe them a couple of dollars, but he says no, they owe me a couple.  outside i drive away or go on foot headed south.  then i am meeting someone on a blind date.  we meet in a large auditorium. each of us has a large suitcase.  we each start to move towards the other.  it is friendly enough, but then we are each in our separate cars (my date is following me) on a feeder road through downtown and end up on a freeway headed east.  but our destination is slightly west of downtown.  we cross over the freeway with some difficulty to exit on the left.

wake up

woke up at 11 pm.  pretty groggy but rested.  balanced the budget through next july.  everything should go ok, even with: painting, internet security, dental and christmas.  may even get a few dollar ahead.  feel pretty good about that.  increase in church pledge.  will probably put off cataract surgery a little bit longer.  can't think of anything else i need.   miss elke garcia.  miss dottie h. miss mother.  may stay up the rest of the night. sort of feel like reading...in my eliot book and scripture.  no plans to travel today..  no plans to buy groceries.  will try to survive until sunday.  happy with my new collage, very simple but effective.  laundry monday or tuesday.  10am meeting this morning. will probably need computer ink sometime $30.  paper budget should break even...newspaper.  pat sounds better.  miss glenn and daddy.  will shop penney's in the fall perhaps.  maybe not until spring.  

an empty day

an empty day
i thank God i slept
through most of it
i dreamed about an
old girl friend, one
i've looked for
recently.  i think
she may be a
mathematician.
that's too technical to
interest me.   i was
president of the mathe-
matics club in high school.
then i discovered
literature.  it all seems
a little empty now.
it's time to watch a
little news and go
downstairs to get
my meal.  i'm lucky
to have this life. i've
made a lot of big
mistakes,  it's hard
to know exactly what
i sould do next.  i
keep on writing,
searching.  home
may not be so far away
as i tend to think today
my health is poor.
i am getting old..

smoking cigarettes

smoking ziggy rats

lunch was difficult.  too much spice in the chile.  we are all at least 60 years old here with many of us delicate constitutions.  now if i can just get through the afternoon, and the night.  oh the nights, how i dread them at some times.

nowifi
no wifi
now if i

see above

eliotic eliotana

another dream

some time in the early moring hours, i wander into mother's room.  i start to get in bed with her, but then stop.  then she gets in bed with me.  there is a terrible stench. we are alarmed about something.  perhaps there is a dog on the scene, perhaps mia the dachshund.  i woke up.  it was mid morning. i have not been feeling very well.  i have taken an extra abilify.  my skin is crawling.  i wonder if death is near.  so much is wrong.  soon it will be lunch time. pat just called.  i remembered something else from my dream.  i  was with pat in the old montgomery wards down on the seventh street.  i walked by a bible display.  there was a thin wide shelf from which i pulled a very large, two feet by three feet, black leather bound king james bible with large print.  i showed it to pat.  

good morning lord

thank you for preserving me
from the terrors of the night

let them who say aha,
the Lord has deserted him,
be confounded in all their ways

righteous is your holy pathway
keep me always on your path

be kind to me.
forgive me my iniquity.
in extreme frustration did i wander
bring me back into your path

for you are my Lord from everlasting
you created me in my mother's womb
do not let me fall into sheol

bless your name forever and ever
blessed be your holy name

consuelo

of course, i had mother for my consolation and
now she is gone and i am left alone and bereft

tonight i have the new york philharmonic
a full harmonica in the mouth

i've been happening for over 18 hours
i'm looking forward to getting some rest

i may very well wake up with a startling dream
thirty minutes later, but that's the way it is with me

i've doctored my eyes, will brush my teeth with a
high fluoride toothpaste i get from the dentist

no more eating or drinking after that
it's just as well; i am terribly fat

from

the vu du blog

the voodoo blog

the view

high in california

we stopped in a town.  coming down out of the mountains.  we had been in upper yosemite. i had a little money.  i procured some treasures and a little pot and a little stake after a trip a little bit higher.  it started to snow.  father fred was with us.  he and i almost got in a fight over things that have happened, but we did not.  i was almost stripped naked.  had to practically slide back down the mountain.  staying with some backwoods folks, bout proposed to one older woman, but met someone somehow a whole lot more interesting.  a little like miss dottie harding. we had to head back to town.  i had got a holt of a mss.  gospel songs at the little church service.  was going to try and market those.  bought my new fiancee a nice dress for $60.  bought something else expensive as well.  tried to set up my friend pam moore for a sale.  i had some pr about her fiber art.  fiber my algae i said to myself.  but the store, a boutique, still high in the mountains was just not ready to commit.  then doug stine showed up at the door with a big load of furniture.   he had gone shopping.  we were all headed back to yosemite.  with our take and our gear.  it was really exciting. i only took a little hit of pot...it was legal.  she was really beautiful, and not nearly as old as i am now.  i am 72.  there were others in the dream, more than i can tell you about.  a mammy and pappy.  i had a new family.  but got teary-eyed thinking about my old mom and dad.

you don't have to change yourself; just let yourself be transformed.  the Holy Spirit can do a work in you beyond your imagination...even in its wildest reaches.

or maybe it was colorado.

i was thinking maybe i would teach three months  in texas.  huh?

like balboa

i remember the first time i saw the pacific ocean
it was at dillon beach north of san francisco.
i was studying chemistry at the college of the pacific,
now university.  we took a field triip to their
marine biology station near tamales bay.
i remember the fog when we drove to tamales.
i was with a small group of people.  we
came over some sand dunes and there it was.
majestic, powerful, broad and gray.  i
knew what i was going  to do although i
had not told anyone about it.  i stripped
down to my bathing suit and ran to the water
and jumped in immediately before
anyone could stop me.   it was cold.  it was
a form of baptism.  i will never forget that
day, or the marine biology station.  it was
a wonderful time.  i learned about sea
anemones and tide pools.  that was when
i first began collecting succulents.  i
took first prize that summer in my division.
i spent about six weeks in stockton, went in
to san francisco for a long weekend, visited
yosemite and rode south to san diego where
i stayed with my great aunt edie.  we did a lot
of things together, on the bus, and then
i flew home.  it was a great summer.  1961.

john and bradley hanlon

i met the hanlon brothers when they were very young.  they lived with their mother and two sisters downstairs from me at the coronado apartments at seventh and summit in fort worth, texas.  the apartments were managed by the salvation army.  they were very seedy, but also fairly cheap.  the hanlon brothers were very young.  john was ten and bradley was eight, i think.  we became good friends and stayed so for years, through various moves. john would even call on my father downtown sometimes.  finally we lost touch.  they had ended up in a group home or ranch somewhere.  bradley was eventually adopted by someone in west texas and may have eventually changed his name.  john became involved with a fundamentalist christian group and last contacted me about 1990 when i was living at hunter plaza in downtown fort worth.  we had a good visit, but he never came back and that was it.  i think about them, their mother and their sisters from time to time.  would like toknow where they are.  seems like their mother was living off of seminary drive at one time.  their younger sister worked in a restaurant on or just off bluebonnet circle.  bradley was brilliant, but john was good too.  

saturday dream at 10 am

visit to saint luke's on a sunday morning.  after noon...no one there.  have a key.  let myself in.  tend to some business.  take a shower...unauthorized.  am interrupted.  told to leave. i ws hiding in the belfry. there's a vestry meeting.  tslk to them.  they realize i am from the other side.  some don't want me there. i was on official business.  then i find an aa or na group.  they are very friendly.  oh yeah i took a sip off the dregs of a bottle of wine in the refrigerator.  the 12 step group is very loving. i tell them about a not so loving visit i made some time before.  i leave with my dog.  catch a bus across the street.  but first a policeman approaches me.  he wants to help.   i don't reall y need any thing.  i tell them a little about my church. i get out of dodge.

i feel lousey

long live the lice

and set myself upon a field of Glee.  oh glum it was and full of gore and lore when we escaped ourselves and melded in the floor of mud that braced itself in useless claws and guaranteed our fate with simple laws.  we were or would have been on our home turf, a simple ample cottage near our place of birth, when times went all awry and we escaped four score lest there should  come behind us many more.  the little house was shook with posted notice.  we grabbed the boy and ran, thrown over shoulder.  pressed on to wescliff across bluebonnet circle not knowing where we went nor august wimple.  i sat upon a shore and dreamed of him who would at last come home and save us men.  encountered by the door, beleaguered all, we would return back home but were appalled. i ran a barefoot mile in sinful store, protecting for my souls from so much more.  if this be not a riot i don't know the meaning of confusion in my pores...

i dreamed i was in the house on parkridge, with others, including a young boy.  a notice was posted on the door.  we grabbed the boy and ran, but as we left a portion of the house just slipped away.  we proceeded up the hill to westcliff village, interviewed with a man who wanted to trade work for writing lessons.  in panic we headed home, avoiding a field, staying on pavement, for  i was barefoot.  gloss remains where gloss abstains

it is 4:30 am.  woke up confused and word drunk from dreams.  singing matt mahr's amen.  because he lives.  i just have to survive one more day on what i have.  can buy groceries sunday on my way home from church with jeanne.  trying to clear my head.  ready to surrender..

two strolls

one time many years ago, betty spears, the wife of monroe spears, a famous literary professor and editor, was walking across the campus of the university of the south in sewanee, tennessee, when an elderly gentleman stopped her and asked the way to the offices of the "sewanee review".  betty responded that she was headed precisely there at that very moment and offered to escort the gentleman.  "my husband is the editor" she added, by way of introduction. the man then responded, "i come mere every year to buy a subscription for my 'nephew' or was it 'grandson'?"  "you might have heard of him", the man continued.  "his name is tennessee williams".  i have that story directly from betty who, like monroe spears, has been sadly absent from this earth for many years.

some years later i had just arrived in princeton, new jersey (monroe spears was a princeton phd.), and it was just starting to snow as i set foot on the campus of princeton university.  at that moment someone called out my name.  it was letitia taitte, at that time the wife of my good friend from  rice university, lawson taitte, who was a current english graduate student at princeton.  i was still officially a graduate student at the university of california at berkeley.  i was on my way to europe for an extended stay, a sabbatical of sorts. i was happy to see a friendly face, and the three of us had a very enjoyable visit both then and on my return some six months later.

so there are two walks across campuses, somewhat inter-related, incorporating chance encounters..  i could not help but notice the pattern.

from my journal (old)

five dollar billy was known for going
with just about anyone who had a five dollar bill.
it wasn't much, but it was an encounter
he wasn't bad looking, but he liked his fill
of beer and pot...when he could get it
and he wasn't likely to forget it
the next time you saw him, he
he looked to you then, to see if he
could maybe get it upped to ten.

the heathen brethren

deuter ramoney

on reading certain well known poets

i really don't get excited much
by reading famous poets i
may have known or may have liked
at one time any more

actually

half a bread loaf conference is better than  none

nesca sara lee

it ain't nesca sarah lea so
the raina lea show

at the fort worth greyhound

reminds me of the night
i spent in penn station
in new york city
decades ago.
at least there were lockers
for luggage back then.
i've got four hours left to go.
there was the man who found a
pair of jeans a few days before
shoot, lady, he said i don't
have any money. and then the man
who'd come down from jersey
a few weeks before, hoping to become
some kind of a writer.  it doesn't seem
that long ago in memory but
i know it went on...all night long.

we did not find love in high school
although perhaps we thought we did
sometimes, but it was stunted growth
that could not break into full blossom.
often we found it not at all until
we found our peace in You, Lord,
Lord of this present universe

among homosexuals

when hui-neng the sixth patriarch
practitioner of the chan (zen) school
first received the patriarchship
in secret

he had to hide for his own safety

he went to dwell with hunters in the south

and although he was a vegetarian,

he dd not abstain from putting his potatoes

in the pot with the hunter's meat


barron vaughn trump


e)scatalogical
scat/turd

got my little king james

no one else i can blame
it all turns out to be the same
it can drive you insane
i've got my little king james

people in the bus station
stare at the ATM
stare at the vending machines
stare at each other

amenihotep
i'm in a hotep
in downtown cairo,
illinois (ill o' noise
alfred noyes

the problem with the upper bunk
is that things fall off to underneath
i am lucky to recover them
such as this notebook with
my bus ticket hid inside

there are steps that lead
to the upper berth


the buddhist bible
tells us to chose
as place where even the
voice of a cowboy
cannot reach

the abdominable snowman

flori dada

side altar
sub altern
sub deacon
deacon jester

getting ready to translate myself
from houston back to fort worth
already at the station, took a cab
booked an earlier departure
leave here in about an hour
arrive in fort worth late afternoon
it time to catch the last local home

i saw an old poet under a tree
bearded and shirtless, looked
like walt whitman...scribbling.
coffee cups all around him
he gathered his in, a
shepherd of poems

the road to palestine (texas)
go to West Bank and Trust

in the reflection in the window
on the bus, i can see
the iphone image in front of me
as the woman thumbs
through her apps

pneumonia is a serious killer
it stalks us in the nursing home
when one of us starts to get sick
the rest just bitch, complain and moan
we can hardly afford to get real sick
but the truth is we are all just victims
and though we follow different dictems
we hover in our cornered rooms
and hope the angel passes soon


the duodenim elegies

layaman
lay aside

men o' laius
him a' laius

chop suey side

til Lon Burnham wood
(local politician)
shall come to
dunce inane


to go see mother
tegucci kalpa

a wandering cursor
a wandering tribe

the grateful dread

tad lowe
tab leaux

cow poke salit


the mimbres indians
mimbres pottery
mimbres hot springs
mimbres only
need apply


"he who endure to the end
will be saved"  endeavors

the troops adore a
trumpador

trumplicans

page turner

like hacking down a redwood forest
shaving in the early morning
hours, a twice used blade

stubbs stitution

lotus march and the marsh mallows

just look for me in the
burgher king, in
purgatory, colorado


project isle

to fu
chinese soul food

saint auden's way

a sliver of silver
slips like mercury
with a shiver
just by moonlight

chiffarobe
by cicero

the lorraine

when systems fail

aunt best

for pam

there were cherubs in the clouds as we
rose through rings of light
concentric circles, bowls almost
these domes were churning
against a back drop of blue

the clouds came in...in formation
lke marching armies, a large
white swan was descending
when you said you saw an elephant
charging down on us and then
broke up on impact, over us

that's good
that's real good,
hildegaard

von binghampton

current/ an ochre ant

it is 2:19 in the early morning

we have been given some reason to
expect some rain.  it could
arrive at any moment.
i am waiting patiently to hear the sound
of thunder.

i have hardly slept at all.
i have been working all night,
newly inspired by fresh projects.

i am transcribing my next to last journal
for mike journeaux or desjarlais

i am translating appolinaire
his "zone", a classic french poem.

i am trying to learn to be precise.
i am a literalist, keeping close to my words
by definitions, by association

often i have to look words up...
both english and french
i have a decent dictionary
i was promised a much better
by a friend who has defaulted
perhaps for no cause of his own

i write new poems as i work
this is one of them
i hope you enjoy it
my old reader, my sole friend

october 2016

and so i have to make my choice

favorite poets of the day

rae armaentrout
fanny howe (and her sister susan
carolyn knox

why i no longer want to live
anywhere except fort worth

it is the city of my birth
it is the source of my current girth
it gives me joy; it gives me mirth
the streets and structures of fort worth

so inscribed i my mind and my genes
i can hardly imagine a rice and beans

more palatable or desirable
than this simple fare so improbable

that i should encounter at seventy-one
so much to my taste and
so much damned good fun

garth brooks

i don't mean to be difficult
if you get me a tif it could become an occult
i cultivate simplicity, openness, transparency

i languish with relish in regular lines
and do not apologize for trite tested rhymes

"her husband's to aleppo gone"
one of the weird sisters in "macbeth"
fra lippo lippi
give me no lip    olippo
lapping at the side of the boat

"on a cliff overlooking darien
mary anne
maid marian

i think i'm going out to eat
that would be a wondrous feat
the food might from my fork just leap
i think i'm going out to eat

honeysuckle so
sweet in the dallas night
air, spilling all over itself
to almost cover the cracked sidewalk
my bother and i, 7 and 5,
plucked the abundant blossoms
pulled on the stamens and
sucked the sweet transparent nectar
that emerged from the tunnel of
the trumpeting flower, one bright
taste at a time...never completely
satisfying, we continued our harvest
until we got bored with it...it
was a distraction in the southern
dark with grandmother and granddaddy
secure inside, so sweet themselves
we barely would survive their passing

rephrasing an older poem

empty plastic shopping bags
blow down the windy texas street
like dry, wild tumbleweeds or
a pair of old cowboy drunks
headed home after the bars have closed

litteral at liberty

.